DeVault

This reading deals mainly with the gendered differences of men and women when it comes to food preparation within the home. Mainly who carries the responsibility for this task within the household, men or women, and why? DeVault states the division of labor within the home is a reflection of a larger culturally defined gendered structure.

Women carry the responsibility for the majority of meal making but men and women respond differently to this task. Household duties are divided separately, with women performing the majority of the work and feeling the most responsibility. Women are responsible for the daily planning and organizing of household maneuvers. This responsibility often causes women to feel trapped by the expectations from within the home and outside of it. Men on the other hand do not approach food preparation with the same feeling of being judged or ridiculed for their food performance. When it is their time to cook they prepare food they would like without much consideration for others. Women are the ones who take on or assume the responsibility of organizing and preparing the main meal of the day whether or not they are working fulltime outside of the home. The men in the study feel that women do these chores because they are better or just naturally more organized. When men are the main caregivers these same tasks suddenly become burdensome and a struggle. When women do it is expected and the work remains invisible to other members of the family.

Women justify their actions for more time spent preparing a husbands meal with the notion that the man works hard so he deserves a good (lengthy, labor intensive) meal. Women often relegate their own meal to the back burner (ha,ha) she gets the faster easier unhealthier one. Women learn, unconsciously, to think of this as the proper way to treat their men and men come to expect this treatment.

Violence can occur over a meal seen as not sufficient and some women feel guilty over a meal served out of a can. Feelings of deference, if more explicit, would be resisted but because this dominance is expressed as just a ‘feeling’ it often goes unnoticed. The social roles of woman/wife, man/husband carry with them expected behavior and when women feel they have not performed appropriately toward their family they often have tremendous feelings of guilt.

At the end of the reading DeVault talks about women finding a space in their day where they can devote to themselves without feeling guilty or selfish. Often resigned to the fact of their household responsibilities, they make sure too much time is not spent on themselves. So much of women’s choices are made to please others or to avoid conflict or harsh words. Women emphasize their freedom while minimizing their deference to others. Choices are made with others in mind and deference is seen as choice. When women put up a stink over needing some help with housework it conflicts with strong cultural assumptions that their efforts are efforts and not love. They are often left with the feeling that if they do not do this work then they really do not care about their families.